Letter: Month Twelve

Dear E,

You turned one year old this week. It's trite, but I can't believe how fast this year has gone. I'll admit that the first few months were kind of difficult; taking care of you was a big adjustment. In those early days I often keenly felt my lack of experience. But now that I have a year of being a mom under my belt I have to say that being a mother is even better than I had thought it would be.

Don't get me wrong; sometimes it's really hard. Last week you had a nasty viral bug. You had a high fever AND you threw up multiple times every day for a week. It was hard to see you so miserable; you basically just wanted to be held against my shoulder and cuddled. But now that you feel better you're back to your cheerful friendly self.

You definitely are a friendly little guy. This past week we've had a crew tearing up our basement floor and installing drains and a pump so the basement won't flood anymore. And every time you saw one of the guys you would give them a huge smile and totally charm them. They would return your grin and, unprompted, tell me about their own kids.

That's something that I've noticed; the experience of being a parent connects you to others. It has more closely linked me to the world around me. When I see tiny babies I smile because I remember how soft and little you were at that age. And when I heard about how thousands of babies in China were harmed and others died because of tainted baby formula I cried for their parents. It is because you are my world that I know that their children are their worlds. It is because of you that I feel more invested in bettering the world around us.

Your first Halloween was this last month. You were actually due last Halloween but were quite content where you were and not ready to leave yet. It seems like it was such a short time ago that you were born and yet it also feels like you've always been a part of our family. We are so that happy you're here.