Some feel left out

I've been thinking about Mother's Day. We had to wait quite a while for E to join our family and the Mother's Days that passed while we waited were always a little hard. I think it can be a hard day for a lot of women, but especially for some Mormon women. There's a tendency in my church to exalt the ideal of motherhood, which works in theory. Because in an ideal world all women who wanted to be mothers would be mothers. And all mothers would feel capable and confident with the job they were doing. But we don't live in an ideal world and not everyone fits into the same little box.

There are single women who would love to be married and have children but aren't and don't. There are married women who want to have children but are struggling or can't have them at all and feel forgotten or like failures. There are divorced women working hard to make sure their children have everything they need. There are birth mothers and adoptive mothers. There are single mothers wondering how they'll do it on their own. There are mothers struggling with the children they do have and beating themselves up for it. And there are people who have lost their mothers all too early. There are all sorts of women in all sorts of situations but we try and cram appreciating all of them into this one day.

So, in appreciation of the lovely generous women in your life, celebrate all the women around you on Mother's Day. Tell your friends how amazing they are. Tell your wife how lucky you are that she married you. Ask her what she'd like to do most of all this weekend and then cheerfully follow through. Give any friends that have lost their mothers a call to let them know you're thinking of them. Call your divorced sister and let her know you think she's doing a terrific job and ask if there's anything you can do to help out. Tell your grandmother you love her. Take a plate of cookies over to the old lady who lives down the street. And men, if you're helping to hand out the flowers/candy at church, for goodness sake, make sure every women gets one.

And don't forget to call your mother!