Letter: Month Thirty-Three

Dear E,

This month has been a busy one. It's was pretty crazy for me work-wise and I feel like I wasn't able to be there for you as much as I normally am. Let's just say that you watched more Nick Jr. than normal. But you're a resilient kid and seem to have emerged from a few weeks of semi-neglect with your good humor in tact.

Everyday you say something that cracks me up and makes me wonder how you got so big all of a sudden. The other day you were twirling a wooden snake around with your arm and I was was worried you were going to smack yourself in the face so I told you to be careful. You stopped and looked at me and nonchalantly said, "Don't worry, Mama" and continued (without any face-smacking incidents). I was a tiny bit miffed that you dismissed my concern so gallantly but couldn't help being charmed. If you ever take up skateboarding or some other injury-prone pastime I don't know if I'll be able to bring myself to watch.

This month you went pee in your potty chair for the first time. You were running around without a diaper and you sat on the couch and I told you it was time to go to the bathroom so you looked down and peed a little (I should have been more specific about the location). We rushed you to your potty chair where you finished. You've done it a few more times but not very willingly. It would be nice to have you out of diapers but if you aren't ready I'm fine with waiting a little while more. I think it might be more convenient if you were still in diapers when we go to Korea in the fall, anyway. I don't know what it's like now, but ten years ago some public bathrooms (like in subway stations) still had squat toilets.

Yes, we just bought our tickets to go to Korea a few weeks ago. I can't wait to show you the things I love about Korea. Your dad and I wouldn't have met if it weren't for our shared connection to Korea and it seems fitting that we go there on our first international trip as a family.

Speaking our family, we're expecting a new baby at the end of January/beginning of February. Your dad and I worry a bit about how you'll adjust. You can be pretty jealous of my attention sometimes. Since you still have a very basic understanding of time we haven't really told you yet that we're going to have a baby but we've talked about babies in general and about how they're nice and it's nice to give them kisses. You seem amenable to the idea but we'll see.

I know it will be a big adjustment to have another baby but I'm not as worried as I was about having you. I'm far from perfect but these last few years with you have given me enough confidence that the thought of having two kids doesn't make me want to run for the hills; it makes me excited. You've helped me grow into my own skin as a mother and I'll always be grateful to you for that.