The Best Seat in the House

If you were to come over to Casa de Nearest Future for dinner, and if you were to stay afterward to chat and hang out, there might come a moment when--inhibitions lowered by shared laughter and the glow of friendship--I might say, "Come with me, I have something to show you."

Up two flights of shag-carpeted stairs, though a door and around a corner you would find this:

--A Japanese bidet toilet seat, complete with wireless controls!

And depending on how much time you've spent in Asia/around Asians your reaction would probably be one of the following:

1) Confusion/mild embarrassment
2) Jealousy
3) Nonchalance (i.e. my sister Jan who already has one)

I myself was THRILLED back at Christmas to to unwrap a Toto Washlet. And yes, I know the fact that N gave me a toilet seat for Christmas and that I was super excited to receive it says some odd things about us, but hear me out.

Back in October when we visited my in-laws in Korea the guestroom we stayed in had a bidet toilet seat. And after two weeks of using it I was sad at the prospect of going home and no longer being able to enjoy always sitting down on a warm toilet seat and being washed clean by gentle jets of warm water while being serenaded by burbling bird song (kidding about the bird song). These electronic bidet seats are all over the place in Korea and parts of Asia: homes, department stores, airports, etc... It's a nice luxury and it's funny how quickly I got used to using them.

So I was thrilled to get a bidet seat for our house. It's made by Toto which is a great brand and (very importantly!) the buttons and instructions were in English unlike the Korean model my sister has at her house. The one time I tried to use the bidet seat at her house I couldn't figure out the buttons and uh, hijinks ensued.

The control panel

Our Washlet connected into the existing water hook-up but we had to have a GFCI-grounded outlet installed next to the toilet (which the next owners of our house will probably be mystified by since I am definitely taking the seat with us when we move).

N's timing was great; it was nice to have it installed before I had Mimi and embarked on the awesome carnival ride that is postpartum recovery. All in all, it was one of the most thoughtful presents I've ever received.

And if you ask nicely, I'll let you use it the next time you're over. Like it or hate it, your life will never be quite the same again.